Well, you made to the new year - shot out of a tinsel laden cannon determined to become an entirely new person and know exactly what your goals are, amiright?

Or…not so much.

The holidays certainly flashed by like lightning.

And now that the shock of the season is over, and we have the first month of “this year is going to be different” under our belt, I thought I’d check in with you to see how the year is shaping up.

Some people are pounding out their “resolutions” - rock on to them!

A few decorations are still waiting to be put back in the attic and the gyms are less swollen with determined newbies.

But piles of people feel the whole “this year I’m going to be an entirely new person” frenzy just washed right over them like the bow wave of oncoming cargo ship.

Maybe resolutions never really lived up to their expectations.

How about something more simple?

I like to approach the new year with a counterintuitive blend of fawn-like wonder and slow-burn determination. Just about the time I’m able to write the correct new year numbers is when things start to click.

Here’s what I do.

One word. One phrase.

That’s it.

Words I’ve chosen in past years have been either nouns or verbs: Brave, Bold, Simplify, Gratitude, Release.

Then everything I think, plan, contemplate, consider, build, grow, or respond to gets held up to the light of my word and phrase.

Does this idea fit? Does this decision point me in the direction I am going? Does this behavior honor who I am becoming?

And if it doesn’t, I release it.

For example, my word this year is “curate” - a deliberate, precise, and hand-picked selection of value. Think of an editor who trims unnecessary words with precision or an art museum curator who selects and cares for priceless works.

So in that vein, “accumulating” (random things, files, ideas, people) wouldn’t fit.

Phrases I’ve chosen have been as short as two words.

I like to think of my phrase as a battle cry for the year, like the title of a playbook for how I’ll execute my word: Let Go, Take Charge, Just Breathe, Fear Is a Bully.

Last Year

2025 was quite literally the ultimate mixture of highs and lows for me.

My husband and I finally fulfilled a lifelong goal of traveling the Intercostal Waterway on our boat, Spyglass, and I was diagnosed with and battled breast cancer.

At the same time.

Woven together in a helical dance of joy and distress.

As the year progressed my chosen word “Simplify” morphed into “Breathe” and my phrase became “Trust God’s Plan.”

Each helped me be present to daily joys and grateful for beautiful blessings and crazy challenges that helped me grow.

Gratitude is a big thing for me, I am continually humbled by all I have been given. Being grateful for the good and the bad keeps me in wonder of the miracle of life.

Here’s How To Make This Stick

Start with a word or phrase that feels right for now, you can always change it.

Each should orient you toward what you’d like to focus on and how you’d like to grow.

Create a few ways to see them throughout the day - random places like the bathroom mirror, the steering wheel, the refrigerator, or inside your wallet.

I almost always have an index card next to my computer with both.

Last year I created a reminder on the digital calendar that pops up each day with “Breathe. Let it all go.” While that was not the exact word and phrase I chose, it caused me to stop and refocus on them every time.

This doesn’t have to be complicated.

In fact, if it feels too heavy, it won’t work.

If you have trouble landing on just the right ones, give it another week or so and let them codify.

A sticky note on the refrigerator that asks, “what is your word for the year?” might help. Something will eventually feel just right.

For now, pick something, go with it, and change it on the run.

As I mentioned, my word this year is “Curate” and, with a nod to Elizabeth Gilbert, my phrase this year is “Fear is Boring.”

Let me know yours :-)

Years ago there was a highly educated man who spent his career studying the stars. He was wealthy and respected, and almost everyone around him looked up to him. He was so important that powerful leaders and politicians asked to meet with him to learn as much as they could about what he knew.

By any stretch of the imagination, you might think he had it all. Money, power, respect, influence. Most likely, he could have anything he wanted at any time.

And yet, he was still looking for something else. Constantly. Relentlessly. Which tells me that no matter what he already had or how much he already knew, he was unsettled.

He knew there was more to all this than what he already had.

Despite all his worldly possessions and power and status, he was still seeking the face of God.

As the story goes, there were two others just like him, although the number is not really known, and no one knows their names. And whether you call them wise men, kings, or magi, we know they were wealthy, educated, powerful, and traveled a great distance without electricity, combustible engines, cell phones, or GPS by following a star in the sky.

A star.

In the sky.

With all the other stars, they noticed this particular one.

“When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.” - Matthew 2:10

They had been looking for this sign their entire lives and, when it appeared, they deliberately left everything, risking danger and bandits and sickness and possible ridicule and humiliation to follow this star and find where it would lead.

They were seekers.

And they somehow knew what they were seeking was the only true answer.

It wasn’t about money, power, approval, influence, or fame. It wasn’t about politics. It wasn’t about stuff. It wasn’t about wrapping paper, eggnog, ornaments, or Amazon.

Although, I’ll admit a good eggnog, like the one my dad used to make, is hard to beat.

It was about a baby.

It was about the one, true, living Christ.

And they had been looking for him their entire lives.

Of all the figures you come across in the Christmas story, I am fascinated with and relate to those three wise men the most. In my sixty-four years on this planet, with more blessings than I could ever count, I too find myself seeking the face of God.

I’ve come to realize it’s the “seeking” part God wants me engaged in at all times. To always be looking and listening and praying so I can see and hear exactly what he wants from me.

Which is hard to do in an age of distraction.

When I get wrapped around the axel with worry, fear, sadness, and non-stop overthinking about thin things - I try to remember it’s really very, very simple.

I am a flawed human being. A sinner who could not possibly earn my way into heaven no matter how “good” I am or how many works I notch in my empathy belt. I am not worthy of being shown mercy or grace. I do not deserve to say, “forgive me.”

And yet, he did.

And for meeting us where we are, and wiping the slate clean, all he asks is that we seek him and believe.

It’s the simple.

Yes, yes I know the work begins after that. The awkward, messy, stop-and-start process of trying to live up to that forgiveness. The sanctification that draws us back when we drift away.

Like how it feels to recenter my thoughts in yoga, which reminds me why I don’t often do yoga because of that uncomfortable feeling.

And yes, I know the details and translations of the story are highly contested and endlessly debatable. The back and forth or that does not hold my interest; the message of seeking him with all my heart is far too simple and pure and profound.

My dad was a brilliant man and I valued everything he taught me. He too was a seeker who lived it every single day. Before he passed away he said, “keep your eyes on Jesus” and I’ve found that be the most important thing he ever said.

All this to say I hope your Christmas is filled with love, joy, delight, and wonder. With boxes, bows, chocolate, songs, and that perfect gift. And somewhere in the chaos of it all, I hope you are blessed with one of those magical little moments when you seek him and find him and know you are loved more than life itself.

Merry Christmas,
Ann

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
- Jeremiah 29:13 NIV

In late August 1995, I was a Navy Lieutenant Commander stationed in Pearl Harbor as the Protocol Officer for ADM Ronald “Zap” Zlatoper, a four-star Admiral and the Commander in Chief of the U.S. Pacific Fleet.

This particular week commemorated the 50th anniversary of the end of World War II.

Every Pearl Harbor survivor who could make the trip came, the youngest ones then in their late 60s to early 70s. Dignitaries and the press flocked to Oahu and, as you might imagine, the tempo was high.

As the Protocol Officer, I coordinated the CinC’s official social activities, many of which he and his lovely wife Barry hosted at their home, Quarters 37 on Makalapa Drive. This was the same house ADM Nimitz lived in when he was CINCPACFLT shortly after the day of the Japanese raid on Pearl Harbor.

With so many VIPs in town that week, the “pucker factor” was naturally high. Shepherding the chaos went hand in hand with making it all look effortless and we rarely had a minute to breathe.

But in the midst of all the crazy, there was one distinct moment that allowed me to see past the frenzy and exhale into the enormity of the reason for the gathering.

I was up at the CinC’s house on Makalapa Drive preparing for one of many receptions. The house staff was in the kitchen, the guests had not arrived, and I found myself with an unexpected, peaceful moment alone.

I stood in the doorway of the open front door gazing down the hill at Pearl Harbor.

In my direct line of sight was the low white memorial structure, long and reverse-arched, perched above the hull of the sunken battleship, USS Arizona (BB-39) and the remains of the crew sealed within.

Just inside and to the right of the front door hung an 8 x 10 enlargement of an old black and white photograph I never had the time to stop and appreciate. The photo displayed the same view, from the exact location where I stood, but taken on the morning of December 7, 1941 at the height of the attack.

There are thousands of historical photos from the attack but I’ve never seen this one again.

Like moving in and out of a portal, I gazed back and forth at the photo, then at the harbor, and back at the photo, moved by the passage of time and loss of life. The juxtaposition of the same view fifty years apart was mesmerizing.

There are many moments that stand out about that week, like meeting ADM Nimitz’ first lieutenant who gave me the inside scoop on the Admiral’s initial meeting with General MacArthur after each had just been awarded their fifth star. Or the somber reconciliation events attended by both U.S. veterans and former Japanese pilots.

But the one that cut through time was standing in an old doorway, feeling the weight of the loss, the blip of fifty years, my deep gratitude for the life I have, and the honor of serving this great country.

Life has a funny way of smacking you in the face when you least expect it.

And as much as I love irony, my most favorite is when you tell God your plans and he pats you on the head and says, “oh, bless your heart.”

After thirty-three years of dreaming and planning, my husband and I were just three weeks away from embarking on a lifetime adventure - spending six months taking our boat up and down the Intercoastal Waterway from Florida to Maine this past summer.

Then on April 9th, just two weeks before our journey was to begin, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

And just like that, the world shifted on its axis.

I only shared this with a handful of people.

In fact, I got the call from my doctor as I was stepping through our back door on the way to change clothes before returning to the boat for a sunset cruise with friends. They never knew.

My inner circle - those fierce friends and family members - did me the honor of talking about it directly and treating me the same as always - with tenderness, tough love, and wicked irreverence, just as I’d hoped.

By the time I reach my death bed someday, I’m counting on my true friends to walk in and say, “my God, you look like shit” right before putting Clinique’s Raspberry Glace on my lips so I don’t look dead in the coffin.

Being a victim is not my jam and this diagnosis certainly tested what I believe, that “everything gets better when you take charge.”

Were there moments I was kneeling on the shower floor praying through water and snot and tears? Hell yes, there were.

Or collapsing into my husband’s arms sobbing and babbling uncontrollably? Absolutely.

But they were not what was going to define my journey.

The Reframe

I tend to look at things through a lens of gratitude, growth, and goodness - my 3 Gs.

So I asked myself:

(1) In this moment, what are you grateful for?

• The most incredible husband on the planet who let me make my own decisions and couldn’t care less about looks and scars. He said, “I just want whatever is attacking you to be gone.”

• The world’s kindest sister who said all the right “wrong” things and helped me talk about my fears and laugh through the tears.

• The most beautiful, brilliant, mighty young woman I am blessed to call daughter who was there when I was most frightened and embodied the strength I needed. She claimed “it’s all going to be okay” which allowed me to exhale and step into that belief when I was ready.

• A matrix of rock-solid friends and family, excellent health care, and a deep faith that sustained me by trusting in God’s plan.

• The revelation “for real” of who was in my amen corner with a few surprises, both good and bad.

• The realization that we caught the cancer in an early stage and it was treatable.

(2) How are you growing through this?

• Recognizing what is really not that important (so, so much).

• Letting go of what everyone else thinks of me. Everyone.

• Standing up for myself and refusing to let one bully physician scare me into a procedure I didn’t want. (Turned out I was right).

(3) What good is coming out of this?

• A deeper faith, an even stronger marriage, and reconnection with many old friends.

• A peace, calmness, and confidence I didn’t know was in me.

• A renewed sense of freedom and reconnection with my inner “wild child” whom I have missed dearly.

• The crazy realization that this has been a blessing - a wakeup call of sorts. A reawakening and a reminder that I’m not done yet.

So what happened?

My surgeon warned me that patients can get sad when they see their reflection in the mirror. Turns out, I actually like how I look. All I see are the battle scars of someone who is grateful for the gift of another day. And to her credit, my surgeon did a masterful job.

We did go on our boat trip. Six months, from May to November, with several cross-country trips back to the west coast for surgery, MRI mapping, and radiation.

We were all the way to Boston by the time all the procedures were done and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t distracted on that first part of the trip. In many ways, I feel like I missed a great deal of it.

It was a struggle to be “in the moment,” all the while knowing that being in that moment and making those memories was the most important thing I could do. I give myself a C+ with extra credit for establishing Topless Tuesdays and reading Jesus Calling.

Now what?

Well, that is the question, isn’t it? Forward sounds like a good direction.

A reset, refresh, renewal, and a whittling down of “unlived-lives” and “somedays.”

An honest look at the future, a slew of letting go, and the ever-present whisper to just “take charge.”

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Have you ever been so close to something you looked right passed it? Like holding your hand up to your face, spreading your fingers wide, and looking right through them. It’s so close you can’t see it.

During coffee with a friend, where we tend to “solve all the problems of the world,” I realized my entire life has involved travel.

As a military brat, I’ve packed and unpacked since I was six months old.

I moved 13 times before going to college, spent twenty years in the Navy, and took a train across country to get to my wedding.

I’ve seen almost every country in the pacific rim, shopped the Christmas markets in Germany, managed to get myself to the Caribbean more often than I can count, and drove across country with my daughter - twice - just because it was an adventure.

I’ve cruised through the Panama Canal and by the fjords in Norway, explored private islands in the pacific, and seen Tasmanian Devils in Hobart, Australia.

And I’m currently wrapping up a six-month adventure with my husband cruising the Inter-coastal Waterway on our North Pacific 450 trawler - Fort Lauderdale, Florida to Bar Harbor, Maine and back.

Travel isn’t something I “do” - travel is part of who I am. It’s part of the fabric.

I seek it, fold my life around it, and am either traveling or planning the next trip.

Travel for me is a necessary part of living a first class life.

Living a first class life is the ultimate adventure.

Implied in the question I ask every stranger, “How has your day been?” is an underlying curiosity about whether they are doing what they were created to do.

Are they truly, deeply happy?

Does what they currently do bring them joy?

How long are they willing to “wait for the right time” to start living like there’s no tomorrow?

Retiring from the Navy, I knew my non-negotiables going forward had to include being there for my family, not working for anyone else, and the freedom to travel at will.

Understanding what you want your life to look like includes charting out work you love that will fit into that design so you can love what you do and earn what you’re worth.

It means designing your life around your work, not the other way around.

And it means saying, “no” to opportunities in conflict with that design.

Easy? Nope.

Worth it? Absolutely.

Are you living by accident?

Consider how you got where you are today - did you just fall into your life and work because that is what circumstances allowed?

Did you follow the path of least resistance, go with the flow, and never stop to ask if you were meant for something completely different?

Or have you always known you were meant to say or do or be something distinct but have kept it hidden away because it somehow doesn’t “fit?”

Your life should make you feel alive.

Instead of working fifty weeks of the year so you can go on vacation to escape your real life, why not define what your first class life looks like and then design work that fits into that life?

Kind of like packing your essentials first then seeing what will tuck in around them.

Start with defining your non-negotiables and see where it goes from there.

I’d love to hear your ideas on this - leave me a comment and tell me what you think.

Take charge! - Ann

Like a lot of women, you may not recognize the value of the skills, experiences, and expertise you’ve gained over your lifetime.

For example, military spouses have:

• handled responsibility beyond their years

• endured hardships and long separations

• made life and death decisions

• spent lots of time alone

• navigated different cultures

• and learned a lot about people, places, and skills along the way.

It's likely you're ambitious, disciplined, adaptable, resilient, comfortable with change, and have proven yourself ready, willing, and able over and over again.

And that translates into knowledge and wisdom - the perfect combination for creating online courses.

Online learning isn't just for universities - people all over the world, just like you, can now design, create, and sell an online course.

Which can translate into a mobile and global business!

Right now, people are generating an income from online courses on topics as wide-ranging as:

• health and wellness, menu plans, recipes

• physical fitness and workout routines

• cooking, sewing, quilting, knitting, gardening

• wine-tasting, golfing, painting, jogging

• photography, party planning, sushi making

• writing, blogging, vlogging, podcasting, social media

• decorating with stencils, on a budget, with used items

• playing the guitar, piano, saxophone, harmonica

• dog-sitting, grooming, walking, breeding

• packing, moving, investing, networking, communications

• real estate, investing, stock trading

• traveling alone, with small children, on a budget, in foreign countries, on short notice

• sign language, stamp collecting, raising chickens - you name it!

Are your ideas starting to flow yet? :-)

Plus, the software now available to create an online course is easy, simple, user-friendly, and not very expensive. Some of them are even free.

All it takes is your creativity and a commitment to the process.

The top 3 places to create your own online course.

• Teachable.com

• Udemy.com

• Thinkific.com

There are others, but these three have a proven track record and are well respected.

You could easily have a course up and running (and bringing in income) by this time next month.

Creating an online course where you do the work once and get paid for it over and over is just one of the ways to create an online income and work from home part-time.

Take charge!
Ann

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Imposter syndrome is real. It tends to affect high-achievers more than any other psychographic — especially women — and includes creatives like inventors, founders, and entrepreneurs.

When it hits new business owners, it’s both subtle and powerful, causing them to doubt their accomplishments and preventing them from taking necessary risks.

Left unchecked, imposter syndrome can derail your entire business.

Signs of Imposter Syndrome

If you’ve ever had a nagging feeling that you’re just not qualified to be in your position or that someone is going to come along and expose you as a fraud, it’s likely you’ve experienced imposter syndrome. It sounds a lot like a petulant little voice inside your head that whispers things like:

• You’re not good enough.

• You’re not fooling anyone.

• Who do you think you are?

• You can’t possibly pull this off.

• You have no business doing this.

• They’re going to discover you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Thinking you’ll be “found out” and judged viciously is the hallmark of imposter syndrome. The truth is, that nasty little voice is a bully, and it’s been lying to you your entire life.

How to Beat Imposter Syndrome

1. Recognize it for what it is.

At its core, the imposter phenomenon is a desire to confirm your self-concept by keeping you entrenched in your comfort zone.

Your sense of who you are and what you’re capable of is formed early in life. When you accomplish things after the bulk of your self-concept is formed, you tend to discount those accomplishments because they don’t match what you learned to believe about yourself early on.

Because of this, you might discount the things you accomplish as adults because they don’t fit with the early-life version of yourself. Simply put, imposter syndrome is a way for your mind to match what you do with who it thinks you are.

2. Engage it directly.

Like a demanding toddler, it will only get louder if you pretend it doesn’t exist. Instead, simply acknowledge it exists and move ahead in spite of it. Each time you hear its words in your head, reply using one of these words or phrases: nevertheless, noted, however, perhaps, maybe, if you say so or in any event.

For example,

“Yes, I’m not as experienced as my competitor, nevertheless I’m doing it anyway.”

Other responses might sound like this:

You’re not good enough.
Perhaps, but I’m good enough to start.

You’ll never be good enough.
If you say so but that’s not going to stop me.

You can’t possibly pull this off.
Nevertheless, watch me.

They’re going to discover you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Noted. I’m saying it anyway.

You’re going to fail, and everyone is going to laugh at you.
Maybe but this is totally happening.

3. Assume an alter ego.

Todd Herman, the author of The Alter Ego Effect, describes a technique to overcome fear and self-doubt. He asks his readers to try assuming the identity of someone they see as fully capable in order to achieve great things.

It’s a powerful counter to the imposter phenomenon because it allows us to step outside of ourselves and behave “as if” we had embraced our accomplishments instead of diminishing them.

4. Think back to when you were a kid.

Let’s face it, as a child you were a heretic. Your job was to push all the boundaries, question everything, be ridiculously curious, ask “why” a lot, and not take no for an answer.

Every time you give in to the lies of your inner imposter, you lose your ability to fulfill your highest potential.

As a business builder, it’s critical you identify when imposter syndrome takes hold so you can stop questioning your abilities, counter it effectively, and move forward with confidence.

Take charge!
Ann

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There’s just so much a person can take, even when they deliberately and intentionally work to stay focused on the positive.

However, that doesn’t mean we just give up, not by a long shot.

Everything is a choice.

True, every choice has a consequence (good or bad), but everything is a choice. Most especially, the fact that we can always choose how we respond to whatever is going on around us.

So each day I wake up and, for a split-second, I’ve forgotten all the craziness in whatever the world is throwing at us.

Then I breathe and remember that I am the only one who’s responsible for what I think, say, and do and I get to choose how I respond to all this.

Despite the fact that there have been a few days when I just didn’t want to be an adult or play the game, I tend to decide that today is going to be a good day. Does it always turn out that way? No, but it usually does, because I’m the one driving the train.

There’s a ton of garbage on television, radio, and social media but there are also some good, positive, uplifting things. The kind of stuff that adds value to your life, gets you laughing, causes you to make better choices, reframes your reality, or helps you show up with grit, gratitude, and grace.

If you’re on X.com, you might enjoy the accounts of Rodney Smith Jr., Buitengebieden, and Why You Should Have an Animal.

Rodney Smith travels around the country mowing people’s lawns for free. He is the founder of Raising Men & Women Lawn Care Service. They provide free lawn care to the elderly, disabled people, single moms, and veterans. He also has an Instagram account where he posts pictures of the lawns he’s mowed next to their owners, as well as the kids who have taken his pledge to voluntarily mow 50 lawns for other people.

Very inspirational.

Sander (Buitengebieden) has “welcome to the positive side of X” in his bio and that’s exactly what you’ll see. Lots of animals, humor, and the silly side of humans. This account always makes me smile.

Why You Should Have an Animal is exactly what it sounds like. There’s just something about nature and animals that always centers me and gives me hope. And besides, animals are funny as all get out.

Our thoughts are like a garden.

Whatever you plant there will grow - it could be roses or arsenic. Whatever input, thoughts, and ideas you give energy to will expand and proliferate until you think the whole world is exactly like that.

For me, I work hard to prevent negative influences from showing up and stomping around in my mind with their dirty boots.

It takes deliberate, daily effort to be positive but it’s totally worth it.
Look for the good in everything around you.
Seek out your daily divine appointments.

Being positive in a negative world is a choice. You can do this. I believe in you :-)

Take charge!
Ann

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On December 31st, when my daughter was only twelve, she and I snuck off to Panera Bread for one of the most magical days of my life.

I’ve never been a fan of new year’s resolutions and goal setting makes me feel uncomfortable — like I’m committed and then obligated, and then when I fall short, well, you get it.

So, hovered over bread bowls of French onion soup, my daughter and I did something so different, so cool, so fun, I’ve done it for myself every year since.

I brought a list of questions for us to answer.

The first part helped us wrap up the current year and the second part helped us see the coming year from an unusually new perspective.

We took turns asking and answering the questions.

It was fascinating to get a peek inside her thoughts and understand just how deep and thoughtful she was at such a young age.

I cherish that day.

If you’re still reeling from the past year (okay, four or five years!), you might like to try this process as well. Set aside some quiet time and give yourself the gift of being completely honest with yourself about where you’ve been and where you’re going.

The answers that emerge will help you focus on the things that matter most.

Then choose a word and a “battle cry” to represent where you’d like your focus to be for the year.

Time is our greatest resource — no matter what we do, we can’t get back the minutes that we waste on the trivial, mundane, pointless, or boring.

You owe it to yourself to let go of everything that doesn’t serve you.

Hopefully, this will help you do exactly that.

The Questions

Reflect on This Year

1. What are you most proud of finishing this year?

2. What still feels unfinished?

3. What was the greatest risk you took this year?

4. What surprised you most about the results from that risk?

5. What was the most profound or surprising lesson you learned?

6. What was your smartest decision?

7. What 3 compliments did someone offer that meant the most to you and what do they have in common?

Focus on The Coming Year

1. In the new year, how would you like to feel?

2. What do you plan to build by the end of the year? (This is not about what you plan to do, it’s about building something — big difference.)

3. What one word could be described as your “theme” for this coming year?

4. What phrase, tagline, or “battle cry” would complement that word or theme?

Maybe you’d like to feel energized, peaceful, excited, calm, smart, healthy, optimistic etc.

Maybe you’d like to build a business, new hobby, strong relationship with your teenager etc.

It’s been a tough year for all of us.

For me, these past few years have made it difficult to remain positive, to inspire and encourage hope, and to be a light for those who need me to lead.

I’ve spent too much time allowing the darkness of fear, frustration, anger, and resentment trample over my thoughts and goals.

But things are looking up and I have every reason to believe the best is yet to come.

Words and Battle Cries

My word for this past year was “Release.” It helped me let go of things, paperwork, and ideas that were collecting dust. It helped me let go of people that were out of alignment with my values. It helped me grieve and heal from the death of my father.

Whenever I was contemplating a decision, I looked at how it aligned with my chosen word and that gave me perspective and a way to move forward.

My word for this coming year is “Simplify.” I am excited to see where this takes me and how it will guide me throughout the year.

My tagline, as in most years, is “Take Charge!” It reminds me to use my skills, experience, and expertise to lead myself and others. It helps me step up to the plate and stop being so careful all the time, so I can continue to choose freedom over fear and inspire others to do the same.

And as I always say, “everything gets better when you take charge.”

Some of my past words have been Brave, Bold, and Finish.

Some words and battle cries I’ve heard from friends and colleagues over the years are Wholehearted, Risk, Yes, Enlightenment, Adventure, Explore, Vision, Learn, Growth, Spirituality, Have a Go, Focus on Self, See the World, & Let’s Roll.

Can you change your word and battle cry later? Of course. But start with ones that feel right for now and see how it goes.

Your word and battle cry should energize you — pick something that means the most to you!

Post them in several locations so that you can bounce all of your thoughts, actions, and behaviors off of them. This will re-center you each time you get off track and guide you toward what you truly want this year!

Wishing you a healthy, wealthy, wonderful life and a fearless and productive new year filled with more love, joy, and freedom than you can possibly stand.

Take Charge!
- Ann

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Several years ago, I found myself writing my weekly e-newsletter while gazing out over the port of Belize. The cruise ship I was on had just pulled in that morning and almost everyone was off the ship - my favorite time to be on board!

As I sat writing, I noticed a few disdainful looks from other travelers who must have thought I was a workaholic who didn't know how to relax.

The idea of bringing a computer on vacation must have seemed sad and pitiful to people who didn't understand the concept of being able to work from anywhere.

Yet to me, it is this laptop lifestyle that allows me to smoothly blend work and play.

I wanted to tell those other travelers not to feel sorry for me - that I had actually figured it all out.

• I don't work like crazy for 50 weeks a year at a job I barely tolerate just to enjoy the other two weeks, reluctantly fitting my life in around my job.

• I have designed my work to fit in around my life.

• I have designed what I want my life to look like and then determined how to make my work support that lifestyle.

It's a fundamental mindset shift for many people and one that seems almost too risky for most.

You may not currently generate your own income.

If so, I encourage you to find a way to express your creativity or knowledge in a way that is both rewarding and profitable.

Instead of (or in addition to) trading your time for money, truly look at how you could help others by sharing what you know, and then just start small. For example:

• Selling your quilted baby blanket creations or patterns on Etsy.com

• Writing a blog that appeals to citi dwellers who’d like to grow their own herbs.

• Holding a webinar for twenty people who would like to learn how to effectively talk with their teenager.

• Creating an online course on how to play the piano without sheet music.

• Sending out a paid e-newsletter with the latest food and wine pairings for the month.

Whatever your talent or knowledge, you are gifted and blessed in a way that can help others. You don't have to be an expert either - you just have to be one or more steps ahead and have the desire to share what you know.

And consider this...

What if someone's entire life could be changed for the better just because you decided to take the risk of putting yourself out there?

There's only one way to find out :-)

You have unique gifts, talents, skills, experiences, and expertise that distinguishes you from everyone else and can be your greatest asset in designing a profitable hobby, side-gig, or full-blown work-from-home business.

Whatever you do, start now.

Don't wait until the time is "just right" (it never is) or all your material is completely ready (it never is either).

Just take the first step.

Even with all your gifts and skills, what distinguishes winners from those who "shoulda coulda woulda" isn't just that talent, it's action.

Take charge!
Ann

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We build wealth for lots of different reasons and everyone’s reason is distinct.

Overall, however, it’s the process and the focus of that process, that usually falls within one of two categories:

• building wealth in order to escape poverty

• building wealth in order to create a different future

But, aren't those the same thing?

Not exactly.

It comes down to the motivation behind the drive.

Try this - in two columns, write down five reasons why you don't want to be poor and five reasons why you want to be wealthy. Concentrate on making the first column about what you don't want and the second column about what you do want.

We tend to run away from something or run toward something which are two entirely different driving forces.

As an example, let's say your goal is to spend every Saturday doing nothing but spending time with your family.

If your drive is to get away from working on weekends, you are running away. If your drive is to create a new family day, you are running toward.

The result can be the same, but the motivation behind the result can make or break your ability to achieve it.

If you focus on “not working on the weekend,” what are you thinking about? Working on the weekends.

If you want to be rich because you are scared (running away from poverty and debt), all your energy is spent trying to prevent something bad from happening.

It's a constant reminder of the lack.

If you continually visualize spending the weekend with your family, that’s what you will think about and naturally move toward.

Each one becomes a self-fulling prophecy - we tend to become exactly what we think about.

Moving away from something is exhausing - moving toward something is compelling.

When you review your two columns, focus on the one that compels you toward your goal.

Take charge!
Ann

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By now you’ve heard the term “imposter syndrome” or “imposter phenomenon.” Yeah, it’s a real thing.

A relentless fear of being exposed as a fraud.

Essentially, it’s what happens when a high-achiever doesn’t internalize their lifelong accomplishments and continues to think of themselves as who they were “way back then.”

We tend to form our identities in late adolescence and early adulthood, so regardless of what comes after that, we think of ourselves as still being about that age. (Which explains why I’m so shocked when I look in the mirror and see my mother looking back at me.)

Just about everyone has experienced the effects of the imposter phenomenon at some time in their life. Recognize any of this inner dialogue?

• Who do you think you are?

• You’re not good enough.

• You’re not fooling anyone.

• You’re the only one who doesn’t know what they’re doing.

• You have no idea what you’re talking about and they’re all going to find out.

Let’s be clear: that nasty little voice in your head is a bully and it’s been lying to you your whole life.

The imposter syndrome often shows as perfectionism.

Being a perfectionist (guilty!) keeps lots of us stuck because we think everything has to be perfect in order to move forward.

But that’s simply not true.

What is true is that as soon as we begin to move forward, we discover we know a lot more than we thought. The simple act of moving puts the imposter syndrome in its place.

One of the ways to combat imposter syndrome is to re-frame the way you think about yourself.

I’m a big believer in the power of questions because our brain is wired to answer the question it is asked. As an executive coach, I’ve often used targeted questions to create clarity and insight, sometimes instantly.

So the next time you feel don’t think you know enough, ask your “inner imposter:”

“Yes, but do I know enough to start?”

Now get out there and take charge!
- Ann

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Over 25 years ago, I saw a chiropractor to get rid of migraine headaches. She's the first one to mention the idea that "big pharma" was a multi-billion dollar industry that doesn't profit if we're all healthy.

I had grown up in a military family and trusted authority figures and institutions.

It was an interesting concept - follow the money.

It's heartwarming to know many of you have either been awake all along or are starting to see what's really going on in the world.1

For the past four years, I've blessed to be part of a posse of strong, powerful, mighty lionesses, if you will. Like-minded women in my area - we get together about once a month if only to remind each of us that we're not the crazy ones.

They're my "all in" ladies - operation underground, operation mocking bird, out of shadows, pizzagate, Haiti, Dominion, ghosts in the machine, J6, J13, lab leaks, money laundering, WWG1WGA etc.

It doesn’t mean we buy into everything, but we certainly discuss it all.

Everyone wakes up at different times, for different reasons, and at their own pace. Be kind and be patient to those clawing their way into the light.

I've heard people say they're worried people won't wake up because the mainstream news outlets don't report the facts. For those of us who grew up trusting our institutions, it's hard to get our minds around that.

So I ask them,

"When did you first get an inkling that something wasn't right and did you wake up because of the mainstream media?"

The answer is always “no.”

Interesting.¹

The truth won't be handed to you and it won't come from places you thought you could trust.

Who benefits from the agenda?

Follow the money...

In the meantime, guard your thoughts and water your own mental garden. Turn off the main stream media. Or legacy media. Or whatever we calling it in order to describe it as it dies a slow death.

Personally, I like “relic media.”

Stay focused on the things you can control and find a way to get involved and engaged in your local community.

Find the other lionesses.

Faith, family, freedom - focus on those and you'll move your life forward with the right values and the people who share them.

Now get out there and take charge :-)

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My daughter and I were roller blading one day when she was in middle school. After watching me trip a few times and genuinely look pretty awkward, she said I should start a blog about my “real life” and I was agast.

No way — I was a professional! If I didn’t behave the way I was expected to behave what would people think?!?!?

Living a bigger story means you’re ready to show up, step up, and live up to this one-and-only life you’ve been given.

Recently, given the downright lunacy of the world these past few years, I hadn’t been “showing up.”

Allowing things that are out of my control had become an excuse for not leading — myself, in my work, in my family, and in my community.

I’d convinced myself I was “stuck” - in reality, I’d just been consuming information and, over time, that had cemented itself into a nasty habit.

Showing Up

How can you “show up” in your own life? For starters, decide to court your critics which will happen organically when you choose to be okay not being liked.

Be willing to be judged, disliked, gossiped about, laughed at, and ridiculed.

“Well shoot, that doesn’t sound like fun, Ann…I’m going back to trolling the internet.”

Now hang on…I’ll bet you can think of a time when you were your most authentic self, appropriate to the occasion, and the world didn’t fall apart.

When you were willing to let people see you and you were delightfully surprised they didn’t run screaming into the woods.

In fact, I’ll bet you endeared yourself to some people then and actually formed deeper relationships because of it.

Being genuine and authentic scares the crap out of us because we feel so vulnerable. But when we observe it in others, we think of them as courageous.

I recently read Dawn Barton’s book, “Laughing Through the Ugly Cry,” and I love watching her Instagram stories. Without her even knowing it, she has been inspiring me simply by showing up as herself.

Three things that helped me be more authentic:

The first was wishing my mother had let her badass out to play and had not been so worried about what other people thought of her. I only saw her let down her hair a few times and I was delighted and truly enamored when she did.

Second was knowing my own daughter has felt the same way about me.

She continues to encourage me to step out of the gilded cage I built for myself. She’s absolutely right because it’s the only way to truly “show up” in life.

I hadn’t spent my life trying to please everyone else, but I had spent it trying not to disappoint everyone else.

It’s the subtle difference between constantly striving for validation or playing small and not making mistakes. Either one is a prison for your soul.

Third, I’d come to realize playing small was selfish and cowardly.

Being consumed with insecurities is not only exhausting but self-absorbed and boring. I was no longer proud of the person I’d become.

I don’t want to be that person, and I couldn’t lead myself (let alone anyone else) out of a wet paper bag when I was that version of myself.

Hiding behind my fears was a selfish game I was no longer interested in playing.

Now what?

The question for you is “how are you showing up?

Are you peeking around the corner at your own life, wishing you were actually there?

Are you admiring others as they step into their own and shed their crazy baggage and history?

Shoot, we need you out here. The real you.

You must know how amazing your life will be when you let your persona take a break and allow your true self to step out into the light.

You’ll feel awkward at first but, given a little practice, you’ll feel an uncanny sense of release and a renewed sense of fun.

That alone is a good reason to show up, step up, and live up to a bigger, better, brighter, and bolder story :-)

Take charge!

Anytime we suffer a gut punch, it’s easy to lose track of the goal and zero in on what went wrong, “why me” thinking, and everything we’ve lost along the way.

To bounce back, we have to change our mindset from “shoulda, coulda, woulda” to one that is forward-focused.

These five hacks below can help you achieve that elusive quality called resilience.

Be grateful.

When you shift your perspective, you completely change your experience of the world around you.

No matter what your situation, your mindset will always shape your reality. We all have challenges but if you look around, you can usually find someone who is dealing with challenges worse than your own.

So to begin, we can be grateful for our challenges - they are teaching us how to deal with adversity, they are making us stronger, and in most cases, they could be worse than they are.

Start by asking yourself,

“In this moment, what am I grateful for?”

Depending on your circumstances, your first response might be, “nothing.” If that’s the case, start with the smallest most basic thing you can think of and go from there.

Recognizing your circumstances are fluid and identifying what you already appreciate creates a mindset for abundance. Being grateful for what you already have is the first step to hacking resilience because it allows you to open yourself up to receive even more.

Head butt adversity.

Resilience isn't just our capacity to stand there and take the slings and arrows of life, it's the power and agility with which we respond.

It turns out, we don't have a limited amount of resilience and that's good news because when bad things happen, over and over, layered on top of each other, our resilience doesn't have to tap out.

We can build unlimited strength, agility, and speed in our response by learning to effectively "bounce," and we can do that even before adversity hits.

A situation only has the meaning you give it. You get to decide if it is something that will stop you in your tracks or if you will frame it as a challenge that offers an opportunity to learn and grow.

For every negative or difficult event that happens to you today, reframe the meaning you give it in your life. The circumstance itself has no power over you, but your response to it does.

When a difficult situation arises, ask yourself these two questions: How could this be an opportunity in disguise and what does this make possible?

See yourself as the one in charge of your own fate, and seize that opportunity.

Even in your most difficult moments, by deliberately choosing the meaning you give to those moments and the power they have over you, you can build resilience and thrive.

Ernest Hemingway said, “Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

Cut yourself some slack.

We get discouraged about our life when we compare it to others, something that has become especially toxic in the age of social media. What people post on Facebook is their “highlight reel.”

The rest of their life is pretty ordinary so if you’re comparing the totality of your life with the highlight reel of others, you’re bound to feel a little alone and discouraged when bad things happen.

The truth is, we all have setbacks.

Every single one of us with no exception. Allow yourself a little breathing room when adversity hits.

Breathe deeply as often as possible, and give yourself a little time to catch your breath, lick your wounds, and come back swinging.

Discover the lesson.

Everything that happens in our life is an opportunity for growth. If we allow every life event to shape us in a positive way, we will gain something, even from circumstances that seem to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Viktor Frankl was a Swiss psychiatrist who watched many of his fellow prisoners in Auschwitz commit suicide after losing their entire families to genocide.

He too had lost his family and even contemplated suicide until one day he had a vision of himself on stage, speaking about how he survived, and he knew he still had something left to do.

It gave him hope and the will to live, to survive and thrive, and an ability to discover meaning in the moment.

When we frame adversity as an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, it gives meaning to the suffering. This allows us to see put the suffering in context and no longer feel that our challenges are pointless.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Viktor E. Frankl

See the opportunities.

A family member’s protracted illness may bring other family members closer as they team up to take care of their loved ones.

Being let go from a mediocre job may lead to an opportunity you never would have seen if you were still working.

When bad things happen, we tend to assume that everything about the circumstance is negative. But this isn’t really true.

No matter how terrible things have become, there is always something good that will come out of something bad. Always. Granted, you may need night goggles and a pickaxe to find it, but if you look for it - see it out- you will find it.

The problem is we don’t usually see it in the moment, because we’re just not looking for it.

For every negative event you experience, the sooner you choose to seek and embrace the good that could come out of it, the quicker you will move forward and experience the resilience you never thought possible.

Originally published at Addicted2Success.com

Dr. Ann Vertel is a motivational psychologist, keynote speaker, corporate trainer, and 20-year Naval Officer. She’s worked with thousands of high-performers including Doctors, Lawyers, Entrepreneurs, C-Suite Executives, and U.S. Navy SEALS, helping them achieve their highest potential. She also consults with corporations on leadership and personal development, helping them grow leaders who think bigger, act bolder, and take charge of their success. Learn more at AnnVertel.com.

It was early in the morning and the field still had a misty layer of dew clinging to the grass.

We could hear the bells as the cows made their way over to the split rail fence we were walking along on our way to the animal petting area.

My family was camping near a family farm and my daughter and I were up early, hot cocoa in hand, to see the baby lambs.

There were these two Rhode Island Red roosters scratching around in the pen and my daughter asked if it was okay to pet one. Not being a country girl, I had no idea, so she decided to give it a try.

There were painful consequences but apparently, you can indeed pet a chicken.

But you can’t milk one. (Not that we tried, that would be weird.)

Chickens aren’t mammals so they don’t produce any milk whatsoever. But think about it, how many people do you know who live their life like they’re trying to milk a chicken?

As if trying harder to love the wrong work will somehow make them happy.

Like trying to get milk from a chicken, no matter how hard you try, work that doesn’t inspire you won’t produce the fulfillment you need.

Doing work you’ve settled for is a trap.

It’s not “bad enough” to make a drastic change, but it leaves you feeling bland and unfulfilled like you’re a placeholder for the real you.

Especially if things are “good enough” and other people think you’re ungrateful or selfish and don’t understand why you’re not happy.

So you end up sleepwalking through your days, hoping it will all just get better on its own.

It’s a lot like walking around every day with a tiny pebble in your shoe. You’re aware of how uncomfortable it is, but it doesn’t hurt enough to change it. One day takes over the next day, and 12 months later, another year has passed and you’re no closer to your dream than you were a year ago.

And the thing you fear most, the thing that wakes you up in the middle of the night feeling suffocated and overwhelmed, is that you’re running out of time.

What’s the solution?

Maybe making a drastic change and heading off on a grand adventure all at once isn’t really an option for you right now.

Selling all your stuff, leaving your family to sail around the world, or joining the Peace Corps seems unlikely and probably ill-advised.

But you’ve got to do something or you’ll end up binge-watching old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on the sofa at 2 a.m. every night.

Here’s how you stop trying to milk a chicken:

(1) Pick one goal that interests only you and honors your strengths.

Not something you think you should do, like run a marathon or sew quilts for blind people, but something you would like to accomplish just for yourself.

It might be an adventure (hiking the Pacific Coast Trail) or a lifestyle choice (going fishing every Wednesday afternoon).

Make it very specific and choose a deadline for when you’d like to have achieved it. For it to be a goal, you must be able to measure it. What we measure, we can track and improve.

(2) Put it on your calendar. It’s important to know the long game so enter it onto a specific date on your calendar even if doing so makes you nervous.

(3) Lastly, take one uncomfortable, imperfect step in that direction this week. It will feel awkward but not to worry, feeling vulnerable in a new situation is very, very normal.

Now, a point of clarification…

These are not goals: (not measurable and no deadline)

“I’m going to read more.”
“I’m going to get in shape”
“I plan to start my own business someday.”

These are goals:

“I will run and finish the Valentines Day 5K on February 14th.”
“I will complete this report by noon PST on Friday of this week.”
“I will launch a podcast by April 15th.”

Having a specific and measurable goal helps you outwit procrastination and lets your mind settle by focusing on something productive and creative. It moves the nonsense and frustration over to the side and gives your mindset some traction and movement.

By building a little momentum for a new adventure, you will expand the margins in your day. And that’s a great way to ensure you don’t run out of time to accomplish that crazy, wacky, wonderful thing you just can’t seem to stop thinking about!

Originally published at The Startup

Learn 3 ways to Discover Your Passion and uncover the creator in you at https://www.annvertel.com/discover-your-passion

What is Authenticity?

In my work as an entrepreneur mindset speaker, trainer, and consultant, I help many business builders overcome fear and advance their careers. I’ve discovered they all share a single, defining characteristic that became a turning point in their success.

Once they embraced their natural gifts and true identity, their businesses took off.

For some, this meant they came to terms with long-lost passions and decided pursuing them was more fulfilling than playing it safe.

Some had to untangle tightly-woven relationships and let go of people they’ve collected over the years — people who no longer enhanced their lives, or who created drama, turmoil, and chaos.

But in every case, once they aligned their identity, image, actions, and values — who they are, how they appear, and how they behave — they achieved greatness.

Authenticity is the willingness to be seen.

Most of us have spent a lifetime developing psychological armor to protect ourselves from the slings and arrows of our critics.

Perhaps we’ve become “people pleasers,” chiding ourselves each time we hesitate, and consistently waiting for permission. Maybe we started to believe being accepted by a group — any group — is better than being alone.

• “If only I had the guts to say what I really think, and do what I really want.”

• “I just wish I didn’t care so much about what everyone thought.”

Letting it all hang out?

Authenticity doesn’t mean you have no standards — it’s not about showing your worst self, or being crude, crass, impolite, vulgar, or unpolished.

It means being true to what you value and showing up as your best self, appropriate for the occasion.

For example. I live in southern California and we wear flip-flops. A lot.

Even if I’m walking the dog wearing a parka, I’ll probably still have on flip-flops. But I’m not going to wear them to a business meeting.

Not because I’m being inauthentic, but because it’s just not appropriate to the occasion.

To be authentic, you must be willing to be vulnerable.

And that can be scarier than almost anything else but it’s also the way you’ll stop feeling like an imposter and create some of your most powerful connections.

Despite what you may believe about vulnerability, it is the birthplace of your greatest strength. It is not weakness — it is an emotional risk and that in itself is a form of true courage.

It lets you stop trying to impress someone and start to connect with them.

Risking exposure of our real identity means we allow ourselves to be seen.

In so doing, we give others a way to relate to us in a way that is meaningful. Others can identify with us and that allows them to know they are not alone.

Why bother?

When you embrace who you really are, you will find a new sense of freedom, boundless energy, and the opportunity to maximize your potential.

But the most important reason to release your attachment to pleasing others is that not being “true to you” keeps you stifled, causes you to play small, and holds you back from fulfilling your greatest potential.

But Isn’t it Risky to be Authentic?

Of course, it is — to be authentic, you must deliberately choose to go against the accepted norm. Because of that, you will be judged, ridiculed, and mocked. You may experience loss, including people you think you value but who are keeping you trapped in a charade.

It’s a basic human need to want to “fit in,” just think back to the cliques in school. But when we try to fit in with the wrong group we become nothing more than a persona — it’s a charade, a trap, and it is exhausting.

The Right Fit

If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t fit in, you were probably trying to belong to a group of people whose interests and values were unlike your own. To feel at home, you must do two things:

• Gravitate toward those people who already share your true interests and values.

• Define the center of your own group and attract others to it.

I belong to a Facebook group about birds. That’s not for everyone (and certainly wasn’t for me back in my 20’s!) but it is for me now and I love it. The people in the group are clever, intelligent, upbeat, and make me smile. We share a love of birds and so the group is a “fit” for me.

If you like stamp collecting, square dancing, woodworking, mystery novels, microbreweries, skeet shooting, antiques, horticulture, studying the genome or anything else the mean girls might mock, go find the other people that love that stuff too.

You’re not wrong, you’re just with people who can’t appreciate you. It’s exhilarating to be others who value you for exactly who you are and what you like.

How will you know?

You’ll know you found others who value the same things you do when

• you feel like you can exhale

• you don’t have to be on your guard

• your thoughts, opinion, humor, ideas, and interests are applauded, not demeaned.

Take Some Time to Reflect

List 5 people you are trying (or still trying!) to please or whose approval you continue to seek.

• What would your life be like if they were no longer in your life?

• What would be different or better?

• What would you change?

• What interests, work, hobbies, or habits would you pursue?

• What would you no longer be afraid to try or to tell people?

Note: Not quite sure what you really want to do with all that talent? These three (unusual) exercises can help you discover your true passion.

Originally published on The Startup at Medium.com