Think back to when you were a kid and you were afraid there were monsters in your room. You’d hide under the covers, on high alert, holding your breath, tuned in to every sound, and absolutely panicked they’d discover you.
Waiting to be exposed, to be found out, is exhausting.
It paralyzes us, holds us back, and prevents us from reaching our highest potential. It can even derail our career.
Even writing this, I am vaguely unnerved by the idea that I am completely unqualified to do so. Who on earth do I think I’m fooling?
Almost everyone feels the same way at some point.
We want others to think we’re the person in our professional mug shots - dashing, debonair, organized, qualified, fabulously unruffled.
When in truth what’s probably going on inside, is something more like the image you see upn above.
We’re high-achievers - intelligent, educated, and experienced. We have expertise in droves.
And a petulant little voice inside our head that says, “you’re not good enough.”
That voice is a bully and it’s been lying to you your entire life. It wants you to believe you are a fake. A phony. A poser.
An imposter.
The imposter syndrome is real. It affects high achievers, especially accomplished women, causing us to doubt our expertise. It’s a nagging feeling that we’re going to be found out and exposed as a fraud.
Who do you think you are?
You can’t possibly pull this off.
Someone is going to discover you have no idea what you’re talking about.
You’re going to fail and everyone is going to laugh at you.
Okay, I get it, but what’s the big deal? Why does it matter?
Because the imposter syndrome kicks in every time you try to disrupt the status quo. It matters, because every time you give in to the lies, you confine your potential to the container of your fear.
The last time you got a promotion or assumed a new role or tried something new, you probably felt unqualified.
Which makes sense when you think about it. You’re not qualified to do something you’ve never actually done. But you are qualified to start.
So, how do you take charge of our inner imposter and un-stifle your true potential? Here are three steps to get you started:
Step 1 - Question your assumptions.
Write down your accomplishments at the end of every day. When you review them every week, you’ll have a better understanding of how good you really are.
Step 2 - Redefine competence.
In the military, we had 5 basic responses. Yes, no, no excuse, aye aye, and I’ll find out. Leading yourself or anyone else doesn’t mean you have all the answers. It means you’re smart enough to ask the right questions.
Step 3 - Remember your childhood.
The things that made you laugh and gave you energy are clues to who you really are. Your ability to finally be taken seriously will always lie in your willingness to be truly authentic.
When you were kid, you were a heretic. You pushed the boundaries. You questioned everything. You asked “why” a lot. And you often didn’t take no for an answer.
So let’s get back to being the heretics we used to be. Tell your imposter to take a hike. Stand in defiance of the people who are still saying things like “that will never work” or “that’s how we’ve always done it.”
You can choose the safety of conformity and approval, or the breathtaking and exhilarating transformation that comes from true self-leadership.
Ready? Take charge!